It might not happen overnight but one day you’ll receive the news: I’m getting married. Wedding is one of those magnificent events that set the entry into a new life, where everything is happening so fast that you don’t have time to rest. As a mother the first things that become reality are a huge flow of emotions and the moment you realize that your daughter is getting married.
For years the act of giving a speech has started to be defined as a must do, a tradition that has marked a wedding. If this is your second or your third time when you are asked to deliver a speech then you’ll be aware that planning makes the difference. The wedding of your daughter has to be perfect not to mention the fact that you are in the core of everything that is going on.
So now, except the event itself, you’ll have to deal with getting your mother of the bride speech right and writing it as well. Maybe you are not a person who lets her emotions overwhelm her, but you’ll definitely need to have a schedule for writing and delivering your speech.
There are many articles that define the speech comprised of two parts: writing and performance and they are right about it. There is nothing more real than to make time for everything especially for handling your speech. The writing part is not so hard if you begin with a positive attitude towards you, the event and towards your writing.
You might not be as talented or as inspired but with some information given from others who already had the experience of writing, you’ll succeed in writing your masterpiece. It all has to be sincere, and words that are spoken from the heart. You’ll find out that the internet is filled with steps and speeches about how to write your wedding speech. If those are not so reliable and you think that you could find something better you can speak with your friends and learn from their experiences about the act of writing a speech what they’ve put in their speeches, what they’ve written about. Or some other useful information can be found in books destined to speak about speeches.
Where to start from
If you want better results that will make you a great speaker, start with taking some time off from all the planning. By this I mean find a spot very dear to you where you can think and in those hours of relation note every thought that comes through your mind and that is linked with what you’d like to speak about. MORE Speech Examples HERE
You don’t have to be complicated in your writing, to use words that are hard, the most successful speeches have been a motivational theme because they’ve started to flow from the heart according to the situation and they’ve maintained people in the boundaries of reality. You have to write about things that people can relate with. Since it is a wedding, half of the people present at a wedding came from the groom and half for the bride, the common field they could relate to is the newly married couple.
I’m not saying that you don’t have a special bond of affection and I’m sure that you have some honest stories that you’d like to share, but avoid the trap of leaving the groom out, as he is the half of your daughter now and his presence has changed everything. Your daughter has now become a married woman.
Don’t let the fear of doing things stop you from achieving them. It is always accustomed that the mother will offer a brief introduction about herself if is hasn’t been announced or in the case she had a welcome to the wedding will do just fine. The middle part can be related with topics that have to deal with your daughter, such as her transformation since she met the groom, her early years, and some character traits that define her relationship with the groom or other people. Maybe even some of her achievements can be added and don’t forget to mention how proud you are for her accomplishments. You can express your love and appreciation towards the couple and make some remarks that involve your new son-in-law and his being welcomed in the family.
You can write also by addressing in the introduction some expressions that are related with the guests and how much you appreciate it that they’ve made time to share the couple’s decision to join their destinies. Also, after mentioning your new son-in-law, mention some words of thanks towards his family and their involvement in this wedding, not to mention the welcoming that they’ve made to your daughter accepting her as their own.
This day is a day of celebration where you as a mother of the bride share the joy with the guests and the families, and this should be a moment of great and valuable memories that should be remembered for many years to come.
After you’ve finished with the middle part and you’ve succeeded to develop your topics according to the plan, there comes the ending. Here it is accustomed to have a toast that can always be as innovative as you will want it to be. You can transmit your best wishes by giving some advices of wisdom from your early experiences as being a married person. These are experiences that will be treasured by the couple and the guests or you could easily find a quote of a famous author that will describe in a few but motivating words this new life of being married.
Try to avoid though those quotes or verses that already became so accustomed at weddings that the people who are hearing the speeches already know them by the book. You can find many great quotes about life situations that are deep and that will transmit deep and true feelings.
Your toast can involve some best wishes to the groom and the bride, this assuming that you’ll husband won’t do the same. If it is on his speech then your toast can be made in the honor of true relations-friends and family or whatever topic you find to be suitable.
You should check your lines to see if they are different with your husband, the groom and the best man, you’ll not want to repeat a lot of what they are going to speak about. A wedding speech should be as authentic as it can be, you can be as original as you want. The only limit is the time you have at disposal.
Keep it as short as a speech should be
The trap that always had people to be bored is the trap of assuming that there is still time, and you can speak for more than fifteen minutes in front of an audience. People being of various age groups, if you don’t succeed to draw their attention, you’ll lose since they will start to find interest in other things rather than to stay put and listen to you.
The best time frame is of 8-10 minutes but no longer. Longer will install boredom, and some of the guests might lose their patience with you especially the elders. You’ll need to find the right balance between feelings and what you transmit as well as fitting in time. There are some weddings that are so well organized that they will allow a few minutes for every speaker. So it will be for the best if you consult this detail with the groom and the bride. Don’t be afraid to ask them or don’t hesitate, this will be very suitable for you to know how many details you can put in your speech.
Don’t concentrate much information in your mother of the bride wedding speech, because people will get the picture if you tell them some short funny stories about what you’ve chosen to speak about. The key that will make your speech well appreciated is your talent to capture the attention of the public.
Many speeches didn’t go well not because of the writing, but they went wrong because of the lack of practice. Every time a person was standing in front of a public and was not sure how to address them, the result was that the person became nervous, shy, scared and he/she then will not be able to link two words to get a coherent sentence. These things are all because of the lack of experience that usually develops communication skills in a speaker, as well as it builds confidence in him/her.
By being confident in yourself you’ll be able to look the audience in the eyes and say what you have to say without worrying that this will go wrong or it won’t be well received. You gain courage and you’ll fulfil your task of performing without any doubt, people will notice that you know what you are doing and they will act according to what you are sharing.
For example, if you are nervous about your performance and you are starting to play with the ring on your finger, you’ll denote a state that you are not being yourself and people will start to feel awkward around you.
Be a good observer
As the mother of the bride, you’ll know which of your old friends will be participating at the wedding and which of the relatives will come. You’ll know for how long they manage to stay put and listen to you, but what do you do with the rest of the guests that you don’t know? Since it is most likely that you’ll be the first in line to open the speech ceremony, you can look around at the guests and see how they act.
If they are willing to dance or to drink you can wait a little bit until they have settled to start with addressing a few words. To be a good observer during your speech you’ll be able to finish up early or not, this according to the whole performance. Your attitude will definitely influence the mood of the audience.
A good speaker is always the speaker who adapts fast to any circumstance that might appear out of nowhere or to any unexpected situation. So, be a good observer and think about things around you – there are many aspects you will change for the best!
Don’t let emotions take control
As a mother you’ll probably start to become too emotional at one point, even in your speech. The right attitude will be to find a balance between your feelings and your presentation, without making some scenes that you’ll regret later or without turning your whole speech into something too dull. Being your daughter that is getting married you can add some flavour to your speech by teasing her a little bit but not offend her.
You’ll obtain agreements since many of the guests that are present at this event are parents and they know what you are talking about. As long as things won’t turn into something to ramble about, you’ll be safe and you’ll find that people rejoice to hear you speak.
Gestures and body language
At a wedding it is not only important to have the speaking part, as there are a few other things that will separate you from an amateur. Your act is always sustained by gestures, mimics and the body language. They all transmit states and feelings that are dwelling inside you, but these are very important for establishing connections with others. Click here for Toast Examples
For example, if you are in front of an audience and you are starting to look at one person, the rest will feel ignored. Or if you establish a close connection with some, the couple or the rest might feel like you have something against them. Things can vary according each character and personality, and also according to the situation.
Taking notes with you is not a bad idea to consult from time to time, but shutting out the rest of the guests and only looking in your notes won’t create a communicational bridge, but it will rather build a communicational wall that was implemented by you.
Your gestures should not denote that you are too anxious to finish up with your speech, or that you are too nervous about the whole act. You should keep your hands near your body and not gesticulate too much, because some people might feel offended by your behaviour.
Always keep in mind that you transmit feelings as well with your body language. As a first thing to know, you are not in front of your boss or in front of some co-workers, or any other job situations, where you are too serious or too rigid. This time, you are at your daughter’s wedding, so you need to act like it! Your face should glow of happiness and you will have to share with the rest of the people attending a calm and relaxed attitude. This is a successful way for the mother of the bride to handle things on the way, but professionally.
A great speech is maintained by your states as well, by how natural you can be. You don’t even have to be stressed about it. You are surrounded by family and friends who support you and admire you. This knowledge of reality will help you to understand how great things actually are!
The mother of the bride speech is built from a deep desire to be supportive and to show love in any second, it is a speech of recognition about how well your daughter has done and nonetheless it is a speech of joy, expressing that she finally found someone to appreciate her, honour her, and make her feel loved and happy. These are the truly important aspects!