mother of bride speechWhen you are faced with the reality of needing to write your mother of the bride speech, a bit of panic always comes. You start asking yourself questions. Am I ready for this? Will I have enough time to write my speech? What happens if I will be too nervous and forget the words when I’m at the microphone? What if my daughter doesn’t appreciate what I will say? What if the guests will find me old fashioned and clueless? Questions like this flow into your mind and then you start feeling anxious and afraid. In this article, we’re going to highlight important and necessary ideas and facts, all to help you overcome. FIND HERE MORE Speech Samples

Being ready for writing a mother of the bride speech

Being ready is the first step before anything else important could happen. You need to feel ready and you need to consider this both with your body and emotionally. Emotional readiness still is harder than being ready with your body. What your body needs to do? Well, probably drive the car to help your daughter with this and that, then be able to cook for your husband and go to your job without missing anything, and then finally to stand up and speak at the wedding. You can quickly see that all of these physically aren’t too hard. Emotionally, things are often challenging.

The stress, the multitude of actions, people talking about the wedding or just asking about it – all of these put together cause a lot of pressure. Then, how can you be ready for such emotional pressure? The question is: can you truly be ready for it, no matter what? Being ready for some pressure, which is something you naturally want to avoid, is different. You need to be convinced enough about the fact that what is about to happen is normal, or that you cannot and should not do anything against it. What am I talking about? The things you need to do, the people who will like to discuss with you, the inadequate behavior some people might show you – these are all coming. Now, you need to handle them similarly to how people handle customer services. It’s just like having multiple people and personalities, and you need to be polite and patient. Also, you need to make sure you will handle some parts of the mother of the bride speech daily. It doesn’t matter if you just review the existing text, or if you edit it, remove words from it or add words to it. All that really matters is your attitude and dedication.

Know the priorities

You will need to learn very precise priority management. If you don’t manage the priorities in your life during this season of preparing your daughter’s wedding, then it’s really hard to handle the upcoming situations. You need to know what to do first and what to leave for next time. The only way you can do this is calmness. You don’t need to be stressed, not even if you see 100 things on your to-do list. What to do? Handle the more serious and urgent issues first. Always handle just one item at a time. Don’t think about the rest, until that single one is not completed! This is the key to remaining fully calm and joyful while everything is happening around you. One of the priorities is dedicating time to your family and obviously to your job as well. You shouldn’t risk putting these two down to any lower priority. Also, you should have a 3rd item: which is the speech itself. Yes, it needs daily work, practice and commitment. Then, all the other items come. You need to measure several factors all at the same time, such as:

  • How urgent is it? Can it wait? If yes, for how long?
  • How problematic would it be if it’s not solved today?
  • How long does it take to solve it?

If the balance between these three factors points at an item, that one should go first. Of course, sometimes the urgency can cause you to have a well-set item, which is good. In case of urgent situations, you don’t have to struggle with the question: “what do I do next?” because it comes by itself.

Reaching from “no clue” to “I have it all”

Every wedding speech begins with the “no clue” moment. You have some ideas, you have put something into your mind, but if you’d grab a piece of paper you quickly would see the imminent reality: you can’t put it on paper in 20 minutes. So, how do you write the speech?

Ask experienced people

What always helps is if you can ask as many experienced people as possible. From your friends, there are certainly some other mothers who have completed their mother of the bride speeches and they have an idea about how it all goes. Then, there are other people who simply read so many books and have documented themselves so accurately that they know all theories. It’s not good to copy someone or to do exactly as they did, but it’s rather good to listen to every single idea and lay it all on paper. If you can do that – everything is then simpler. Once you have gathered ideas from your friends, start asking members of your family. It doesn’t matter who you ask, because again you will measure things, making sure that good ideas stay and bad ideas leave. You are the one to decide, even if someone tells you something like “believe me” or “listen to me”. Yes, you can believe, you can listen if you so wish, but ultimately, you need to judge the information by yourself, deciding which path goes for your speech well.

Read books if you have a bit of time

You should go to the library and ask about some books in this topic. I know that today, most people won’t even want to hear about going to a library, but I must emphasize: you can get so many great ideas there! You don’t need to spend hours – ask the librarian for the relevant books and read only the relevant parts. You can almost always skip the introduction about the author or how they became so knowledgeable about wedding speeches. The only relevant part for you is the actual writing and ideas for it. Then, you might even find some free books online, be it PDFs or just 2-3 page samples from advertised books. If you can read these, you might grab some basic ideas from there too. And guess what? It’s free because it’s not necessary that you buy the book. Still, if you feel like it’s a great book – go ahead and purchase!

Delight yourself with movies

Surprisingly, movies can give you tactics, real life strategies to arranging weddings and speaking at weddings. There are comedy movies, action movies, or romantic movies. The genre doesn’t really matter, as long as you can get some inspiration. A bunch of movies have scenes with weddings, and they have some realistic parts too. Of course, comedy movies sometimes exaggerate about some aspects and real life situations don’t go like that. Still, if you can make a difference between what’s real and what’s just made to cause laughter, then you can easily distinguish and use what’s real. Download 25 Mother of the Bride Speech Samples

Developing the text – take it step by step

You need to have a step-by-step progress with your wedding speech. A bride’s mother doesn’t just appear in a few minutes. First of all, you need to write down all ideas or glimpses of ideas running through your head. At this initial point, your idea list is not organized. You just have a piece of paper, loaded with expressions, words, or even just symbols. Maybe it doesn’t make any sense for you and maybe you think it’s a foolish thing, worse than you were in first grade. Still, you have no idea how powerful a “stupid” sketch can become later! Now, you have the unarranged, random piece or pieces of paper. Try to organize the same ideas again, and write them all in the same place. This time, try to make a bit more sense of it. For example, maybe you had an item like “Sarah ill, John help” and this would now become “When Sarah was ill and hospitalized, John was caring enough to visit her whenever there were visiting hours. This meant a lot for my daughter and helped her emotionally and physically.” Actually, such an addition is no big deal. Any mother can write words as such. Still, for writing the speech, it makes a huge deal. Then you should see many pieces of paper, full of sentences and ideas, this time a bit more complex and more organized. At this point, it is almost certain that you have redundant ideas. Maybe you weren’t paying attention, and mentioned the same ideas two-three or even five times. Don’t let that happen! If you have three occurrences of some idea, write them all as one. Look at all the three versions, and write a resume of all. So, the goal is to have no duplicated ideas. Since now you have eliminated all duplicates, you have a better, clearer aspect and picture in front of you, showing you the main lines of your own speech. What do you make sure of next? The mother of the bride speech has, in essence, the following parts:

  1. An introduction. I think it is self-explanatory enough to not describe it. You should think of it as a brief introduction – it’s not a novel, it’s not an adventure movie.
  2. The bride and her story. This is probably the most extended and favorite part.
  3. The groom’s story. Some people prefer to omit this point, and talk about the couple as a couple instead of separately. However, it is all up to you because you can decide whether to speak about him separately or not.
  4. Amazing quotes, words of wisdom or some own creation – creativity is challenging, but can win. At this part, it is also self-explanatory: you will say the final words before concluding with the toast. Since most people will go for quotes or sharing advices, you can invent something different. Play with this part and make sure you bring up something unique!
  5. The wedding speech always has its crucial, ending moment: proposing a toast for the couple. You can read how others edited their proposals, or even better, write your own version. After all, it’s not too hard nor too complicated!

What to do now with the categories? Why did I ask you to just write ideas and only now I mention that the speech is divided into multiple sections? The idea is this: you have written your ideas and now there are also organized without any duplicates. So, it is rational to say that the next step becomes even easier. The next step is that you split up the existing ideas into the mentioned categories. This is not hard to do. For each sentence you will read, you just ask yourself: which part should this belong to? Then, it’s all natural: write it in that category! So now, as you read what you have on paper, it should resemble a final version of a mother of the bride speech. Of course, this is not all, but it’s a lot closer! You need to now extend what you already have. It is often true that you see some categories lack something, and others have too much information. How to know what is enough? Well, a speech generally should take around 3 and up to 5-6 minutes. If you read out everything loudly, knowing that it’s not the final version yet, you can measure time. If you already have 6 minutes – I guarantee it is too much and you should drop some parts. If you only have 2 minutes – you need some more! Extending goes like this: you read each part of the speech and then write new ideas there. Don’t worry about the need to rewrite the entire speech 10, 20 or even 55 times! It all happens and it’s all the key to success. Think about great authors: didn’t they throw away many pieces of paper with drafts? Didn’t they change their mind when going from a chapter to another, finding that they could write something better? Of course they did and that’s why it was all such a good success story! So, essentially, you will probably throw away drafts many times. Don’t freak out, it’s all okay. You need to progress towards the final version of the mother of the bride speech, until you feel it’s all good to be presented.

The mirror test

Before the wedding, you need to stand in front of a mirror, read the speech out loudly, imagining that the wedding is now and observe yourself. Are you too stiff? Is your voice shaking or are you too loud? Such details can easily be corrected at home, but you always need rehearsal! Once you are done with that and measured time, you can go to the final step!

The family-friends test – we’re done!

Now, you can invite friends and family and present the speech. They will probably try to distract you, they will look at you, analyze you and probably you will feel weird. Is that problem? No, because you need to see how it is in front of the guests. You can’t expect all guests to stand still and applaud you for every word. So, you can ask them to criticize you and then find out what you can improve with your speech. Then, it is all certain that you have it right and you are prepared for the intense moment of presenting the speech at the wedding!